Productive days on The Island

Let`s Enjoying School Trips!

Post XIX

 A little while ago I went on the world`s most Japanese school trip. First, we visited a disaster prevention center, where we learned about how to cope with various disasters. There was a bunch of simulator rooms, which were all great fun, and some were actually quite scary (for example the earthquake simulator, which the kids insisted be set to the highest level, of course). 

After that, we went to the traffic flow control center to learn about traffic lights and other such things. It was probably the most boring two hours of my life to date, and the building was so hot that I just wanted to pass out. But, there was one highlight when a security guard crept up to me and whispered: "Hello, where are you from?" I said, the UK. He then said, "Ah. UK traffic lights, same?" to which I told him they weren`t. At which point he thanked me and walked away. I am sure this is not true, but it seemed like he had been waiting for some time for the chance to ask that question to someone. He could have used the internet, but I was glad to put an end to his anticipation. 

 Then we had lunch. This was the highlight of my day for two reasons. First, Japanese mums pull out all the stops to make sure their child has the cutest lunch. Second, every kid has more sweets that I could eat in an entire week, and they were fighting over giving me some! The bento boxes all had really cute food in them, and one mum even made a Kirby out of rice!!

 They were all so cool, and the sweets were awesome too. I was eating things that I hadn`t even seen in Japan yet, so who knows where they find all of these things! 

 After lunch we went to the local landscape garden which is very beautiful. I pretended to push one of the kids (one of the little “jokers”) in the water when he was feeding Koi, and he jumped out of his skin! He looked at me and said “Sensei not funny!!” which just made it even more funny for me. Of course, he saw the funny side, and appreciated that I was pulling pranks on him for a change. Then we had a tea ceremony, and headed home. On the ferry we bumped in to some of the younger kids who had also had their day out. Then began an hour of me being a fair ground attraction. Japanese kids, hyped up on sugar, were jumping all over me, wanting to be carried, spun around, thrown, chased, lifted, dragged and all kinds of other things. It was great fun, but absolutely exhausting.

Kidnapped in Japan

Post XVIII 

So last weekend was rather bizarre. I`ll set the scene. It had been a long week, and I was knackered, so decided I wouldn’t take the ferry to have drinks with my friends. Instead, I would cook a meal, have a beer, and read a book. I kept putting off cooking because I couldn`t be bothered, so I just sat reading and drinking, and all of a sudden it was around 8.30. I thought, I`ll get cooking now or else I`ll eat really late. So there I was, cooking away, and the doorbell goes. Now, the Japanese aren`t ones to disturb you late unless it`s important, so I wondered who it could be. I opened the door and there stood a lady whom I didn`t recognize. She started rambling at me in rapid Japanese. I could understand that she was saying that she was my neighbor. She asked if I had eaten, and I said no, but that I was cooking now. She said, no no its ok, you can eat at the bar. I was in my pajyamas so I insisted that I should change, she replied that I looked fine and that I didn`t need to worry. I just about managed to convince her I should at least turn off my gas, so I nipped inside (and quickly chucked on some trousers) and there I was being dragged out of the house to the only bar on the island. 

 She knew about 10 English words, but nonetheless we could hold a minimal conversation. She insisted she was my Japanese mother, and that I should frequently eat at her house, and so on. She bought me a plethora of drinks, and we played darts, and it was just generally a bizarre evening. 

 On the way home, she “boinked” me on the penis. I can think of a better word to describe it. It was like an exaggerated and comical pat with the palm of her hand, followed by the most childish outcry of laughter you have ever heard from a 60 odd year old woman. I suppose she was curious. It marked the end of an absolutely bizarre kidnapping and night out, that was actually surprisingly fun. After, I couldn’t help but ponder over the “boink” for a little while. I thought to myself, if it was an old Japanese man “boinking” a young girl on her tits, that would be completely inappropriate. Perhaps what she did to me was inappropriate too, but I guess I have got so used to all manners of attempted sexual assaults at school that I have just come to expect it. This is one of the Japan-isms that many foreigners draw the line at – the obsession, between same sexes, to attempt to sexually touch their peers (and teachers). Now, I think I don’t really have a problem with it as there is no sexual intent whatsoever, it is playful. Just like in English schools, we have “bundles” where one boy is piled on top of by all of his peers, the Japanese have “Kancho” where they try to grab your man parts, or sometimes worse…. Also, I have become a ninja at deflecting their attempts, so they rarely succeed. What`s more, my children don`t seem to try to kancho me as often as my friends kids try to kancho them.

 In any case, whether you see it as a playful part of Japanese childhood, or a fundamental flaw in how children are allowed to behave at school, it is still going to happen. I try to just be as little of a kill joy as possible, but I can understand why it can be a source of discomfort for foreigners working in Japan, too.

Heavy lifting

Post VXII 

 I have had a pretty crazy 4 days. The last two are completely boring, I had 7 demonstration lessons – more than the average ALT has in a year – which were just so draining, mainly because of all the lengthy meetings that go with them. But, at the weekend before the working onslaught I carried a Japanese portable (and I use portable very liberally here, as they weight just under three tones) shrine, known as a Mikoshi (みこし). I carried it for 2 2 hour stints, on Saturday and Sunday. So 8 hours in total. It was amazing! On the first day, it wasn`t actually a shrine, but a `portable` taiko drum (Japanese war drum). The people carrying it were some of the younger and more boisterous islanders, some of whom I have gotten to know through drinking and so on – in fact I was invited to carry it by the owner of a café I often drink at. Before we carried it, we all drank Shinto `holy water` - and lots of it. Of course, it was actually just Sake, which meant that some of the Japanese people were rather merry by the time we got to carrying it. Slightly worrying seeing as you are relying on everyone to pull their weight and not fall over. 

The style of carrying also involved a lot of bouncing up and down, and running down the street, both of which were a mixture of extremely exciting and extremely terrifying. But, it was a great party, and afterwards we went back to the café and all got extremely drunk. I went to bed, knowing I was going to wake up rotten hung over, knowing that I had to be up at 7am, and knowing that I would be carrying three tones of shrine again in the morning. My shoulders were in absolute agony, and the thought of doing it again made me feel sick (or maybe that was the drink). But, I decided to force myself to do it and I am glad that I did. The second day was much more like a ceremony. I wore a special ceremonial white robe and hat, and carried a beautifully ornate Mikoshi complete with God inside. We took the God (no one really knew which God) to chill out in the town, and just generally carried him/her for a few hours. I was given a huge bento for lunch, complete with beers, which was the perfect reward for the hard manual labour of carrying this thing! It was an absolutely unique experience, and one that I am very glad that I had, even if my body is absolutely knackered, sore, bruised and blistered. Looking forward to carrying it again next year!!

I take it all back....

I feel as though I need to retract my last post. Last night, when walking back to a friends house I fell in to what's known as a gaijin trap, or, foreigner trap. They are wide open drains by the side of the road. It was just under 5ft deep. I grazed my arm to shit, I am pretty sure I have broken a rib, and I just generally feel like a bit of a mug! Ah well. Stiff upper lip and all that.....

がいじん no more

Post XVI

Today I want to Okayama again (have I told the blog I have been already? Who knows. In case not, Okayama is fairly near me and is pretty awesome). I bought the new 3ds and super smash bros. Good bye what little free time I have!! So I am pretty excited about getting home. I also bought a tea set, which rather sadly I am equally excited about (a sign of aging perhaps???). 

Speaking of tea I popped in to a really nice looking antique shop, treating it more like a museum than having any intention to buy, knowing that it would be extortionately expensive. When I entered the shop I was greeted by the owner who began speaking to me in rapid Japanese. I asked him to slow down, and then realised he was offering me tea. Too polite to turn down is offer, I accepted, and was lead in to a small room crammed full of antiques with two benches facing opposite each other. Tea was poured and I was forced in to a very difficult conversation in Japanese. Much of what the man said went over my head, and I continually apologised for my terrible Japanese, but none the less we exchanged words for about 10 minutes until I exhoisted my Japanese vocabulary. I was then praised for my speaking ability (laughable if you had heard how bad it was), and got up and left. It was a lovely piece of Japanese hospitality, but what I enjoyed the most is that he recognised immediately that I was not a tourist. His imprinting statement was 'you live near here, right?' . So that made me feel chuffed. Perhaps I have finally stopped bumbling around like some clumsy Gaijin and started to fit in a bit more, even if my japanese does suck.

Tokushima Yu Ka Wai

Post XV 

I had a little excursion recently, to Tokushima, which is known for its natural beauty and remoteness. And god was it remote. We had planned to eat in the town, `Oboke`, once we got off the train, but there wasn`t a single restaurant. It was like the express train had just stopped at some arbitrary location along its tracks and let us off. It was very strange indeed.

Fortunately I recognized the Kanji for `Bashi ` which meant we hopped on a bus, heading for Kazurabashi, hopeful that we would find the Ryokan (Japanese guest house) on the way. Luckily the bus announcement was very clear, and the bus stopped right outside the Ryokan, so it was all relatively stress free. When we got there, the names of the people checking in were written in the entrance hall. The person checking in after me was called Yu Ka Wai. Which when read, sounds like “You Kawaii”, which is a Japanese word for super cute and awesome. 

 We had a couple of hours before we had to check in, so we went on a food hunt. We walked for about 40 minutes, following a hand drawn map, to no avail, so we headed back to the hotel. It then turned out that right next door to the hotel in the other direction from which we had walked, there was a small gift shop that also sold soba noodles. Typical, I suppose, but the walk was really nice and we had a great view of Oboke gorge and the river which name escapes me, perhaps the Iya river but I might be wrong. 

 Then, we basically had two days of Onsen! There was a range of outside and inside baths, but the most beautiful one by far was the Kazurabashi Onsen, which was up a cable car, and was just fantastic (I`ll try to put a picture on the blog post too!). Kazurabashi also has a very famous vine bridge, which we crossed and was terrifying! All in all, pretty nice weekend. I`ve put a link to a travel video of the weekend which was made by a Japanese iPhone app. The result is pretty hilarious but you`ll also get the idea of the beautiful scenery!

 http://magis.to/en4jAUxAA1kzLiEHDmEwCXh4